HOT n BOTHERED

so ry has been away in beijing. this familiar feeling of missing, jealously, frustration and dissatisfaction creeped back into me. ahh, long distance it is. this time my end isen't all too interesting and to think i use to do this all the time! im feeling somewhat reluctant and almost put down. it also doesn't help that im sick and almost voiceless that puts me in an ultra cranky mood. but thank god for sweet friends that put up with my cranky whiney self. so who knows when i'll hear from him again ? soon he'll be on a train somewhere someplace and its not even been a week with well, shitty but present internet connection. anyway so my point is i don't know why i put myself through this i use to be great at it but i think getting back into it and knowing what its like is just the most discouraging thing. why! someone needs to invent cheap efficient fast travel now! airplanes are overrated. i hate feeling jealous but i suppose its only natural when your precious is out and about having fun with "very respectable" females who you dont know? till 8 in the morning i may add. hmm, he says "you cant really blame her". steve says i need to grow up, but he agrees with me and understands why i got so flustered getting my fucking panties all up in a bunch. if i want to start making this work out for me i need to stop being my jealous self, nobody is perfect. but why this flaw,i feel like im always stuck in this long distance cycle ... story of my life. when are things going to change for me? back to the bed, volleyball was not a good idea. time for pho! i feel SO SHITTY. fuck this sickness.

snot control its getting lighter.

mmm over it. so over it.