dance dance dance

wish i could. still. dance.







8 days.

we are cute

so, my best friend thinks im slightly crazy for thinking ugly dolls are cute. she has a good sense of things i like and dislike, things id be "into" , she said the other day "have you seen where the wild things are?" and of course i responded with squeeling and excitment and she said "i knew you'd be into that weird movie" hahaha. cant help but love her.

anyway, above are some pictures of ugly dolls. how do you say no to that!

ryan count down 15 days!

EW

EW

Where the wild things are

this is what im going to be next year for halloween. done deal.

Rain

helps me sleep.

so i thought id try some online rain machine to help me sleep better, tomorrow ill try white noise. thank god i didnt watch the movie so i dont think about how scary it is. anyways, i think it works? i slept pretty deep and well considering i didn't wake up to ry's gchat call this morning! hoorah!

rain machine

i love you i love you i love you

i want you i want you i want you



haha michele nguyen wrote on my wall the other day. reminded me of the times i sang this song to her at de anza

ry - an my belle ... O . haha

such a cute song.

The Valley

that is -- Yosemite.

gosh it was sooooo lovely. went out with vivs, tin, tommy n blake.

we got to see lower falls, got half way up upper falls, beautiful view of half dome. checked out the climbers at elcap! mmm i wish my lover was there with me. what a gorgeous place, the falls were running too which made it even better. the days were hot, the nights were cold. real cold, but not as cold as i expected. did my first REAL rock climbing in yosemite thanks to tommy, so that was pretty cool.

Things are better

much much better.

we talked it out and this week has been great so far.

i guess i just have to keep reminding myself how amazing this is and how lucky and blessed i am to have this relationship.

like every relationship its special, its unique, you cant have the same exact one with another person.

stats has been treating me quite well, its not all too hard, my teacher is a little better than frank but i got another one that wrote her own book. massive fail. its an online class so for "learning on my own" im doing really well.

i dont know whats wrong with my sleep cycle, i think its cause i took a nap yesterday that i went to sleep SOO late. ill try to work on this. maybe read more? when i read i tend to fall asleep after an hour or so. this means putting max away.

i wish someone would create a laundry folding machine. i lvoe doing laundry i just hate folding it when tis not warm anymore. i like doing it in front of the tv or while im watching something, this just wasnt the case yesterday.

must get car repaired. what the hell does service "a" mean?! ugh ... wheres my daddy when i need him most!

flying back to singers on the 9th! excitedddddddddddd. back to see my loves.

one of these days ill put up our screenshots from the first 2 months, or perhaps i should wait till he comes in november! ARGH im soo excited!!! i've watched him sleep a couple times.. who wouldve coined me for a creeper? well we all have our facebook tendencies. hes just so peaceful and adorable when hes asleep.

anyway, time to go. cram in a couple more things before stats.

fifty five more days.

till i see him. my baby.

its been a tough couple of days, wish i could be seeing him. sooner than 55 days, but really it could be much worse.

i want him to bring out the best in me. it hasnt been happening, but i guess its never perfect.

i cant believe that ive been packing up my room!? is that weird or whattt the walls are pretty bare and i have a couple boxes going and throwing out of trash. hmmm... moving moving. kind of freaks me out a little but im EXCITED!

SD will be glorious.

you.

I bit my tongue in the awkward conversation.
I don't know why.
I don't know why.
I met you once and I'd fallen for your notions.
I don't know why.
I don't know why.
Do you believe that there's treasures in the ocean
Did I say I'm just a boy?

One kiss from you and I'm drunk up on your potion.
That big old smile is all you wore.
Girl you make me want to feel,
Things I've never felt before.
Girl you make me want to feel,
Did I say I'm just a boy,
Did I say I'm just a boy,
You can hold me to that.

No lonely hands grab my suitcase full of nothing
I don't know why
I don't know why
You took me in gave me something to believe in
That big old smile is all you wore
Girl you make me want to feel
Things I never felt before
Girl you make me want to feel
Did I say I'm just a boy
Did I say I'm just a boy
You can hold me to that

so cute.

sigh, my mind wanders too much.

sleep schedule

this is not good.

need to start sleeping earlier.

what if?

i want to be a pre school teacher?

sigh...

Rainbows in The Dark

sometimes you just can't hold back the river

last days in singapore.

I Love The Smell of Babies

back from J town.

finished eat pray love, starting outliers. i love how i can read books in the summer time.

had a great time back in "kampung" chilling with the baby cousins and nephews although really they are getting bigger and bigger! i just love kissing and showering them with love, they dont seem to mind my constant cheek cupping and kisses. i hope that never stops! mmm i love them. the sweet life of jakarta, eating great food, sleeping early, waking up early, family, massages, what you see is what you get in that city. i guess theres a deeper love no matter how messed up it actually is. proud to be indonesian.

love cup has been empty lately, hardly any time to speak with ry.

also, thank god for platonic friends.

must sleep nearing 3 am. the busy days start tomorrow. hello, singapore.

Rockband & Duck Rice

mmmmmmmmmmmmm sosuke took me to duck rice today.

then i tried "ching teng" shaved ice dessert, twas good.

Bye Bye Birdie

a change of heart?

el perro del mar.



needing my love cup to be filled.

white sheets

din tai fung. one day ill take ry here..

mmm my white sheets. how ive missed high thread count!

i am turning into a pile of goo. i dont know why but ive lost the desire to party and go wild! the usual doings in singapore. ive been back and in great company but i much prefer having coffee during the day or dinner and drinks at night! none of this club business! a bit lame i know.. ive been meaning to get my ass to the gym or perhaps the track but its weird now that the school kids have started school. i like having the school track all to myself during the schools holidays, no kids in sight. high school is now foreign grounds, they belong to my little brother who by the way is now a FRESHMAN! where has the time gone, this is absolutely ridiculous, the next time i see him he will be taller than me. even now we battle it out and im convinced we are the same height but of course he claims hes taller, him n his puffy hair. ry and i havent been able to talk much lately, ill have to admit that sometimes its scary because technically hes barely started school and already i barely speak to him. this is when i have all the time in the world! although the time difference is in the way its really not all that bad i feel like we catch each other on decent times. it sucks to have to say bye to him and not have my ryan love cup filled. i think thats what im going to call it from now on ( i was watching jon n kate plus 8 and she asks her kids if their love cups are filled! super cute). ive almost forgotten what it was like but i feel like usually im on the computer for hours on end. maybe this will be different, im not all too sure how much i like it. i think i dont but ill try to trick myself into thinking i do. i feel as if we dont talk long enough to have a conversation that is truly fulfilling. its very hi, bye. i hope this will change. not much going on in sticky singapore, i certainly do not miss this humid weather, your whole body gets so sticky and icky. like a hot mist fan blowing in your face constantly... and the mist is made out of apple juice, all sticky and icky. gross. i do enjoy the food. i eat and i eat and i eat! i feel like its all we ever do here, in the past i have ended up loosing weight when im home which is weird.. however, this time i feel as if i will definitely GAIN weight.

oh the glorious food...

sleep time.

home

Il bel far niente.

the beauty of doing nothing.



epa games -- 23rd aug.

FRIDAY

back home in singapore, i havent done much or taken many pictures. my bestie isnt around so i feel lost. i miss her :( , not much is going on in singaling but up with the girls for a pool reunion (i just typed book instead of pool, what type of grandma am i!) got my hair cut as usual with wing, bought a book at borders , the usual, got my eyebrows done, met phil for coffee and tonight will be the first night out. gah. i wish i could drive here so i could just take the car! this is ridic. i wish i had a gps here too but i think people would laugh at me. anywhosits. everyday i wake up still in love with ryan. i guess my prayer to god would be that we fall in love with each other more and more each day, the same prayer i pray for my parents. what id give to still be madly in love with the same man, one that i would love to settle down with right this moment if i could.. i hope we make it through these 2 years. i hope i get to re read this one day and just smile because i could feel it coming.

anyway, im going to steal my dads 450 d and post some pictures.

ew i have this pimple on my head. ugh.

this is the first day of

my long distance.

austin - san diego. i think we'll make it.

i love him.

mmmmmmmmm

less than twenty four hours.

listening to:

Beyoncé's Ego

STATISTICS FAIL

of all the professors in the world i had to pick frank soler. WHY , his textbook is absolutely USELESS! i am one to slack off in class but math textbooks are usually so clear with step by step instructions and color coded equations it was never really a problem for me to catch up! here i am stuck with a black and white useless chunk of paper, he provides us with examples but never explains how he gets the answers ! not to mention barely answers his test questions in the back of the book! what is this nonsense! what book publisher would accept this crap. UGH .. mood : frustrated. i have to re learn everything from youtube which hurts my head because i have to focus so hard. i absolutely hate this shit. WHY!!!!!!! but its okay. i learned how to find a p value on my own today, one step to success only that i have 1 day to learn it all! in any case god willl help me find a way I HOPE. i have faith. i do...... ugh.

the only thing thats keeping me sane is that my lovely boyfriend will be back on the day i finish finals! the 6th. spending the weekend at the hilton, a perfect way to help me forget the misery of statistics. what a waste of time and energy. lets just hope for the best.

also, i bought an ocarina!! its an app on my iphone and i've learned how to play a couple of songs :)

lovely...

SATURDAY

she's got you high and you don't even know yet



lets be productive today karyn.

1) do laundry
2)clean room
3) study stats
4) get this dress

Love Letter

so, it came! and it was the most moving lover letter i have ever received.

the next one is on its way!

Tracking history... Help

Date and time Status Location Service Area 7/29/2009 7:20 pm Depart Facility Irkutsk, Russian Federation, The 6:58 pm Processed at DHL Location. Irkutsk, Russian Federation, The 6:36 pm Departing origin. Irkutsk, Russian Federation, The 9:28 am Shipment picked up Irkutsk, Russian Federation, The

Shipment details...

spoke to ry yesterday over the phone, its been ages since i've spoken to him! thank god for skype :) just finishing up apps, im a little worried about stats since i have no effing clue as to what is going on in class? the teacher doesnt do much teaching. hopefully i will get a C in the class, thats all i want really. my neck has been super achey lately, i think its because i spend way too much time glued to my computer. oh well who isent nowadays anyway? besides, i practically have to do everything on this dam computer (re learn stats from youtube lectures) , oh i lost my computer charger and im using ryans now but i think its not good for my computer, it gets real hot real fast. grrrrr

TUESDAY

i love these girls.

i wanna do bad things to you....

GOSH TRUE BLOOD!!!!!! awesome... awesome awesome.

comic con was a great and amazing experience this year, how moving, touching, awesome, gosh -- just such an exhilarating experience. im too tired to write about it now but it was great!!!!

hope i get home tomorrow and find ryan's letter. that would be a perfect ending to an amazing weekend!

awaiting a love letter..

hmm im anxious and excited!

2 days till i hear back from my loved one mmmmmmm, so ive been sick and it SUCKS but i guess i feel better, went out for a CUTCO company picnic hahah it was fun took a nap outdoors and had a hot dog and a burger.. first time ive been outside outside in a while.. it felt.. well.. weird - ish. i napped and pretended ry was there to cuddle with me mmm, then i fell asleep while steve played vball with the rest of the knife salesmen, steph was with me and we spoke about jon and kate + 8 (destined to be friends). i cleaned my room yesterday but its still messy. fail. so im going down to sd this weekend for comic con! thank god steve is driving down with me cause i def did not want to do that drive ALONE. shoot me now. our first cousin trip in a long time! super pumped!!! jess n jnet + beach! hopefully itll take my mind off of ryan haha (not likely). my dad sent me a zillion pictures from their beach trip! all my baby cousins are growing upppp :( makes me sad i wasn't there i miss those babiess. grr super jealous. anyway, time to study stats and play rockband! sams back today , met her at mayflower just now with the rest of the "gang". being sick makes me act goofy. mum called today, and for the first time it made me smile to hear from her !! she didnt talk about god she just told me about their trip and i told her i was going to sd and she was completely okay with it! hahaha so strange , mm i love you mumzy, even though she is crazy at times.. i guess it runs in the family. she told me not to talk so much! hahahaha no1 can recognize my voice its kind of funny. matt barnes is now on orlando magic for 2 years, my loyalty to the warriors MAY sway.

ROCKBAND & LUNA LOVEGOOD

Today i was "Mothership Q", my favorite song to rock out to was :

Tell Me Baby whats your story
where you come from
and where you wanna go next time
tell me lover are you lonely
the thing we need is never all that hard to find
tell me baby whats your story
where do you come from
and where you wanna go next time
your so lovely are you lonely
i given up on the innocence you left behind

by Red Hot Chilli Peppers.. mm

it's amazing how much better i feel after rockband. i believe in medical miracles. or maybe im just drugged up and happy.

----
Luna Lovegood



--

mm baby, i'm so into you. its sickening.

HOT n BOTHERED

so ry has been away in beijing. this familiar feeling of missing, jealously, frustration and dissatisfaction creeped back into me. ahh, long distance it is. this time my end isen't all too interesting and to think i use to do this all the time! im feeling somewhat reluctant and almost put down. it also doesn't help that im sick and almost voiceless that puts me in an ultra cranky mood. but thank god for sweet friends that put up with my cranky whiney self. so who knows when i'll hear from him again ? soon he'll be on a train somewhere someplace and its not even been a week with well, shitty but present internet connection. anyway so my point is i don't know why i put myself through this i use to be great at it but i think getting back into it and knowing what its like is just the most discouraging thing. why! someone needs to invent cheap efficient fast travel now! airplanes are overrated. i hate feeling jealous but i suppose its only natural when your precious is out and about having fun with "very respectable" females who you dont know? till 8 in the morning i may add. hmm, he says "you cant really blame her". steve says i need to grow up, but he agrees with me and understands why i got so flustered getting my fucking panties all up in a bunch. if i want to start making this work out for me i need to stop being my jealous self, nobody is perfect. but why this flaw,i feel like im always stuck in this long distance cycle ... story of my life. when are things going to change for me? back to the bed, volleyball was not a good idea. time for pho! i feel SO SHITTY. fuck this sickness.

snot control its getting lighter.

mmm over it. so over it.

SUMMER COLD

i should of read this before i decided to get sick.

snot control

CONGESTED!

mmmmm my nose is all clogged up and i'm laying here in my sea of tissue. lovely way to start and end a day i suppose (not). today it was pams birthday - dinner at chillis haha kira's employee 50 percent discount made me gluttonous mm triple cheese bacon burgur with jalapeno ranch sauce and crispy onion strings .......... delicious. then we chilled at reeds, familiar faces and beer was nice and comforting.

h1n1 -- i hope i dont have it. thank god for tylenol night time and theraflu and ny quil. mmmm drugged up and feeling quite decent. all i need is my babe to curl up with.

things i learned today :

dont smoke while youre sick.
dont drink while youre sick.
do spend time in bed.

want:



need:


goodnighters.

bye bye babers, come back soon.

Boyfriend - less and sad. 3 weeks sans ryry. blerh. so i decided while hes away i'll perfect the blog and make it something id like to remember and look at and pretty up. back in the day i use to be a xanga layout pro so ill get blogspot under my belt too. mm hes on his way to beijing and i haven't asked him whether i could use his photos but i will. and sort of already started.. i need something to do being boyfriend less is sort of boring. ill write more later but now the pretty - ing begins

.

july 9 - 12th.

MONDAY

im in love.

TUESDAY

why why why why why why why why why.......

oh god. uncomfortable.

besides that, i had a really great independence day weekend, of course i spent it with my chemist. drove to berkeley on thursday ... im not all too sure what we did that day, we stayed home and cuddled most likely, ry went to berkeley bowl to get foodies. mashers, smoked salmon, (bad asian green tea icecream), sake, and champagne. i really dont remember what we did that night..did we make mash potatoes? im not even too sure? then it was july fourth! we had a great morning together, mimosas and bacon and eggs and queso! mmmmm wonderful. we went to point reyes.. unfortunatelyyyy it was super shitty weather! ugh well thats a lie, it was a great day but we just chose the wrong cold beach with dieing animals on it. poor sealion cubs were emaciated and sick :( made me sad. we got into a little argument on the way back from point reyes which was not nice but i guess it lead to better things. this weekend was the weekend i told ryan i love him.. or i was suppose to tell him and totally chickened out! and then he eneded up saying it.. we played the "i have to tell you a story" game haha... apparently when i was drunk i gave it away pretty much. good job karyn. typical. anyway, its a great feeling to be able to say it to someone again and completely mean it mmm its nice. we then went to pier 39 to watch the fireworks at the museum and took more photobooth pictures(as shown)! mmmmmm adorable, we met up with char and some of her friends, dean was there too. so i got to spend another night with ry. sunday! asian church day (believe it or not hes the first boyfriend ive gone to church with!) it was nice, then we had sushi for lunch. so anyway, my bits were sore that weekend and turns out i have something! which im not entirely sure yet... im going to PP tmrw! ughhhhh this totally sucks balls. wish it would go away, and worst thing is i think i may of given it to RY! OMG .. omg i may die of embarrasment. holy jesus. and also. i think he may ask his mom about it.. i mean oh my god. i understand why he would want to but i just really wish he didnt have to. this sucks. i want to know what i have, i want to know what he has and i want it to GO awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. sick. so sick. is this some sort of punishment? i have no idea. i guess it cant always be dandy.

TUESDAY

i was told today that i have a modest dream. i kind of liked it.

i have a modest dream. mmm.

its HOT

i stuffed my face with green tea ice cream hoping it would cool me down.

IT DIDN'T WORK

must turn on A.C.

100 fucking degrees.

BURDAY WEEKEND

4:45 am - alarm goes on.
5:00am - stumbling out the door
5:27 am - get to milbrae

SEE BIRTHDAY BOY!

start driving.

somewhere on the i 5 we did the dirty, while tractor man so ryans bum. nikki is no longer innocent.

get to disney by 12:30

ride space mountain, buzz lightyear, its a small world.

get home, go to the pool mmmmmmmm

mmm yeah

ordered in room service , ahi tuna and filet mignon, calamari, awesome fries and bubbly.. mm wonderful wonderful amazing night.

7:30am - morning sex. 1:00pm i met rys friend marc then we headed to newport beach! dinner at balasic (quaint, warm, cute, romantic french rest.) home more awesome time spent together. mmmmmm TODAY - went up to see ry, we had a shit tonz of jack in the box.. ultimate cheeseburger hmmm tomorrow beach time!

TUESDAY

TUESDAY - def. the day to blog.

EERANDDSSS TMRW! dammmmmmm

9 am - Professor time
10 am- get oil changed.
10:30 am work on project with naghmeh
12 pm eat easy mac
3 pm finish project
3 30 get ready to leave
4pm leave
5pm get to berk.
5:30pm ry gets back from work
5:35pm find a movie we want to watch OR just have sex. HA.
blabblahblabhablabhablh

leave by 10.
home by 11

day end.

school starts PROJECT DUE!!!!!!! fuck.

I WANT

unlimited frequent flyer miles

unlimited beach time

a house by the beach

more time with ryry

a credit card that will earn me miles

TK noodles

to be done with this essay

an acceptance letter to berkeley. (not possible)

to fastforward time. no i lied, i just want a peak at my future.

to see daddy

a dog.

word on my new mac so i dont procrastinate anymore.

TUESDAY

tuesdays are the day to blog.

dimps + frecks :]

hmm its been an interesting week- ish.

relationships are an emotional roller coaster ... its a little too soon to be on one but i guess ours is special and super expedited. my mum is still in town, we went to LA from the 4-6 coincidentally it was tiffers 21st bday! party party, dev drove up from san marcos and i also saw devi! it was a nice breather after the whole R drama. letting loose and hanging with the girls. couple new things, i got a new macbook! its pretty cant decide on a name yet but so far max or dexter, or dex for short (thats what ry came up with) it reminds me of two things i really really like. HA. anyway, i flew back from LA on a saturday, i was fucking tired but i think i had called ryan? i dont remember who called who but we were just really fed up with everything and well i decided to drive up there to see him to resolve things. i really need to effing figure out how to private this thing! god dammit. oh well. wutever. i also got a new ipod classic mmm its hot. a new top from zara which is pretty effing cute. im going back to sing sing on the 16th, one day after ry leaves to austin... ugh. its going to be a terrible terrible goodbye i can already feel it in my gut. anyway, thursday my mother is going to cook indonesian food for silas' graduation! which will be quite nice :) ive invited viv and naghmeh to come over! friday!!!! its naghmehs birthday so im pretty excited about that, ry is coming down here! and were staying the night at vivs, then were off to santa cruz on saturday which im super looking forward to! amazing. anyway, i think thats it. mumzy is leaving friday which will be well bittersweet , shes been much better lately. i kind of regret getting her unlimited skype which means she will be able to call me a bunch! ugh she'll be busy once shes back home though. perfecto. must continue writing my paper on the obama effect. ughhh ............ dunzo. passed the fuck out today i dont know why ive been so tired? and omg my period needs to come RIGHT FUCKING NOW!.. internally im sort of freaking out. just a little.

love.  

FUCK

fuck fuck fuck fuck shit fuck .
fuck.
fuck.
ugh
feels. horrible.

TUESDAY

tuesdays seems to be the right day to blog.

im reading : how we decide by johan lerher & fallacies - the art of mental trickery and manipulation... not as interesting as it seems to be. finishing up this paper on the marshmallow test!

yesterday i was at stanford mall and oh my god. stroller heaven.. so i have this obsession with babies and everything baby. i love walking through the baby aisle at target!!!! it makes me so happy.. is that weird? maybe a little... pam called, i was suppose to meet chris yesterday at marcus' bbq but ive been so pooped out cause mother n i are always out doing something... (or shopping rather) ... we also had this huge argument about her being critical and insensitive... she claims its because she only wants "the best" for me. i mean i buy it.. but it sucks. ugh............ i dunno what to do about UCSD, i seriously think im just going to re apply for winter quarter. i mean eff that. i want to chill and make some money, besides im only 20.. also to be honest im not really looking forward to it that much..hmmm i miss talking to epa, hes in jtown right now! wihtout me!!! jerk, apparently hes doing well.. working for some law firm, kind of makes me wanna go home... which reminds me i have to book a ticket for aug. eff. alrite back to writing my marshmallow paper.. my ES 3 teacher is soo effing disorganized!! i went in today to ask for her power points! and WTFFFF she was like sorry i have to finish grading these papers for my next class.. its cuz shes lazy ( and fat ) i mean those are your office hours lady.. how hard is it to freaking give me your power points... it wouldve taken 2 seconds! okay.. enough bitching. i miss ry. hopefully this weekend will go smoothly without the madre bothering me too much. ugh. LA in a week.. thank god she will be distracted in canada.

mmmm gummivites...

okay, back to work.

MOTHER.

i am my mothers slave.

but, shopping is fun. sigh.. its been a tough couple of days, but hey shes going to be really busy within the next month when shes back in singapore. i went to gilroy with her the other day and i swear my legs have never hurt this effing much. driving is well.. not as fun as i wanted it to be ( i mean i knew it would suck, but i was hoping it wouldve been a bit more fun) but.. i honestly dont believe im that bad of a driver.. im decent. i think. no actually, i know. i just realized the post below was super innapropriate for a sunday, i went to church for the first time in a bout a month! it felt pretty good. nicolette/addy (my car) needs a little trashcan, ive been searching all over for one but i guess america is not asia. im getting my moms friend to bring one over from singapore! i know.. a little ridic. but. i think itll be worth it. random. shit. i ate blueberries and blackberries and madelines and my moms indonesian food pretty much all week. its nice having a mother, i dont know how sad ill be when shes gone though.

my room is clean. im getting sleepy.
zzzzzzzzz

GO TOUCH YOURSELF.

nancy claims there is 3 ways to deal with sex withdrawal.

1)be crappy, whiney and emo.. basically,ride it out.
2)crave more sex.
3)replace sex with a drug. distract yourself.

im not sure which im doing. probably number 2.

TUESDAY

mum is here.

mood : a little annoyed but whatever. my face is super hot. temperature hot.

hey chemist, i like you, i really really like you i wonder if you're reading this. mhmm. nance asked me why i was publishing this shit on the internets!

nancy (in the jing) 11:24
why are you publishing this shit on the internet?????
karyn 11:24
cuz
25:00
fuck
nancy (in the jing) 11:25
or should i say
25:04
the internets

i am totally deleting my history now.. all . the. time. i need to find out how to private this shits. .
this is why:

nancy (in the jing) 11:26
there are other people out there searchin!
27:07
especially with your one billion friends on facebook
karyn 11:27
lol
27:20
i know
27:22
wtf
27:24
i dont even know
27:26
why i have so many friends
nancy (in the jing) 11:28
well thats one billion potentials that might want to stalk you and wear your flesh as their coat


i cant seem too. annoying. annoying.

I HAS A CAR!

Nicolette's Sexy Bum

MONDAY -

drove to school.

the madre is on her way to america, sigh,,, 2 weeks sans ry ry. last weekend in a few words : car, bad sushi, pong night, bay 2 breakers, the filmore, the avett brothers (cute concert cuddleing) , amazing sex, vanilla cherry ice cream, greys anatomy finale, driving together, driving home from berk on my own, dresses, kisses,love.

FACEBOOK FREAK

i am an addict.
a facebook addict.
today the chemist relationship requested me.

DROOL

want. this dress

TUESDAY

♥

there wont be any bitching going on here for a while.
todays topic. eye fucking and happiness.

another unbelievable, phenomenal, amazing, sweet, romantic, adorable weekend with R. i dont think there was an excuse to go see him this time around.. i just really wanted to see him (last time it was jess' 80's birthday party which i was too young to go to) so what did we do. first off it was nice getting off at north berk instead of ashby or dtwn berk, i got out, the weather was perfect i sat on the bench while this man was playing his guitar i read and waited for the late boyfriend. oh one thing sucked this weeekdn i lost my mushroom keychain. :( boo. that really really sucked. but im over it, kind of. got back.. and.. i dont know? we probably did the dirty and it was amazing no doubt. what the hell did i do thursday night.. i really dont remember... i took nyquil that night and passed out , we probably watched tv with ben... friday he was at work all day, i test drove a black on black c230 coupe, was excited to buy it , but they were asking for way too much money. went with ben to check out the car, went to lunch at homemade cafe while a homeless man bothered us for 15 mins.gchated with als and mon and waited for r to come back from work.. oh i passed out while i was waiting for him haha.. that was funny.. then i had mroe amazing sex.. god. so good. he made me cum for the first time that night... and i dont even want to go on to talk about how the rest of the weekend was.. in a few words : climbing gym, trying the long term, wishes, kisses, mojitos, iron man, crappy yummy white wine, adult brownie, park, hipsters, eyefucking hipsters (jeremey), plan b, bacon queso and eggs, vanilla ice cream and blueberries, xl magnums, FE, adorable...more kisses, more pictures, more ryan. more happy. thats about it, im going to read this one day and barf cause hes too cute.
k

TUESDAY

School tomorrow. but this time i dont think ill be doing any bitching. more like gushinggg... loads of gushing. turns out the chemist is AH amazing in bed. ive gone to spend 2 weekends with him up in berk.. both have been. just. really really great. hmmm so i dont remember what his excuse was the first weekend but i went up anyway, met him at bart, he was late so i went to starbucks and had an espresso truffle. he came, we couldnt decide what to do for dinner.. to be honest i just wanted mashers... and i knowww he makes really good mash potatoes from his turkey dinner. so we went to andronicos? to get some pasta and potatoes and all that other stuff ( i made mumzys vegetarian pasta dish) and we added chicken. it tasted well... al rite. but yeah he made mashers from scratch, we had white wine... mmmmmm anyway, i took a shower then jumped into bed and we chose a movie to watch. transporter. hahaha anddd the rest is historyyy... we started to kiss and. my effing god. hes good at that.. from then i knew stuff was going to go downnn lol. and um. we ended up going all the way home. 3 times. (he also thought he couldnt come the second time) or the third. that weekend was fun... next day we had morning sex he went to work, came back with bagels and odwalla mmmm then i went to meet jnet to do my nails then we hung out at blake and ellesworth and watched bottle rocket a wes anderson movie? sp. darryl was there but oh well. called ry, we had pho for dinner.. then went home and watched "a knights tale" i guess that was our first real movie. hahahah one that we actually watched... second weekend i went up on thursday againn,,,, mm it was a rainy weekend. perfect for staying in doors. i left the house twice that whole weekend once to mcdonalds the other to good vibrations... ha ha ha. we had brie and bread and chocolate covered strawberrys that were too bitter for my liking.. and i like dark chocolate. we watched wedding crashers and the end of american pie 2. HA. i dont even know how many times we did the dirty this time around. all i know is last time it was 11 times in 30 hours and we def. had more this time around. hes super cute. super sweet. love it. he calls me dimples cause he likes the dimples on my back :] , he also asked me to be his "short term gf" which was cute. its gonna suck when he moves to austin. fuck. also, he talks in his sleep and says cute stuff like "youre amazing" and "wonderful" mother effing adorable (he also said i love you) but he explained that later. lol although he does say "i adore you" anyway enough gushing, one day someone i know will find this and totally laugh in my face.
peace woman.
-k

TUESDAY

its SO HOT today! mothereffin 34 degrees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ah, im on here to talk about my date with the chemist. it was greatttttttt, actually my weekend in general was pretty freaking awesome. friday > monsters and aliens in 3d with ben, sat >went up to berk to see darryl n jnet, went into the city and had morrocon food for din din > ry n i ventured off tried to find the arcade/bowling alley but my iphone was being lame and took us to tenderloin?! anyway we ended up at a hipster party in oakland! then we took the bart n went back to berk. darryl then picked me up from the bart station n i went back. in the morning ry called for breakfast but i was being lazy, went for smoothies n took the cal train back to PA, met up with jess n sky. then we proceeded to drive down highway 1, we fould a gorgeous spot with beach access mmm it was niceeeeee then we ate dinner at a diner off the highway and watched the sun set.... mmm kisses on the forehead. perfect day. 420 then was on monday.......... nothing happened besides me getting in my english paper in on time! go me!

MONDAY

boys, boys... lots of boys...
so i am currently living this single life.. and its sort of weird. weird but fun. my forbidden sexy love is cross oceans.. but so perfect. there is berkeley boy (who was also a semi forbidden love) but now is easily accessible, theres the chemist .. hes quirky and fun and so american, he asked me out on sunday. .. i wonder how it'll go? theres also the asian, epa. not my typical prefrence but cute. i havent found an asian guy attractive since that idiot stoner in my linguistics class ... unfortunately he is ridiculously stupid. or so it seemed. hugee turnoff. sigh.. whats new, not much, stupid summer fling called me on skype 7 times and doesnt even remember it, its okay though hes happy with his highschool child/slut. fun with berkeley boy tonight, it was steamy and semi ridiculous. still fun though, spices up my life a little more.. what would i do without my girls, love my girlfriends. love my computer. loving life. goodnight.

THURSDAY

its thursday again.
sigh...
the weekend has started thankfully... im missing my girls but had an awesome day at school ! tully canceled poli1 my last class of the day! good irish man he is. thank god. had dance this morning, wore stripes ( my blue and white striped top), went to wholefoods to eat some healthy food with PAMMmmmmmierr my lovely friend. she makes me laugh, bryan is a butt. i should work out more, i have been with endow lately makes me feel better, but i need to stop the S. s for smoking that is, not for sex. i havnt had sex in a million years it feels like. anywhosits. speewing out random shit on here.... i need a car, i keep praying for a car. i want a dam car. please god. i want a car. this is killing me, sitting in my pretty clean room, its nice, the air is nice, its sunny today after 3 days of rain, sunny and a little windy. sitting in pams car with jesse and pam windows down, her rap music on (lol) so i have a story about that, on tuesday we drove back from wholefoods and we were sitting in her 05 metal gray honda civic .. so she parks and she still has her super loud hip hop music on from the drive back and the lady who is walking towards us gives us the strangest look ever. two little asian girls listening to hiphop,.. turns out her car was the champagne colored corolla next to our car. hilarious. good times, good times. anyway 2009 my year of singleness.. its been good so far. sort of, kind of. dam. i dont even care. i just want a car. so i can drive to nice lakes like that one at the foothills crazy jon showed me. its pretty there. char, matt n i went there last spring and took awesome pictures. i should go back soon with jess.
anyway i need to quit bitching and do some homework. i want a lot of things, likee... that cute bikini from victoria's secret.. the sea foam green one, its strapless and has a white seashell in the middle with a rouched bottom, so effing cute. i want that. and a car. that is all
im out.
-k

TUESDAY

So its tuesday,
and its effing cold, the deceptive sun makes me angry in the mornings because i always think that its going to be so nice out, the moment you walk out you freeze. This weekend was chinese new year weekend, so i spent alot of time with the fam bam i have out here. on friday we celebrated jess' app to oxford HOORAH! sang along to Billy Joels the longest time and got ourselfs messed up spliting the oh so classy yellow tail and my favorite beer blue moon, so we danced and talked about boys the usual. next day it was bring your cousin to work day, jess had work so i tagged along and did my work at keplers. cny we had everyone over, not much has been going on, ive been chatting with G alot online which is good. we have interesting conversations and he doesnt bore me like a lot of people do in california. this thursday its my birthday im during the dull age of 20, no longer a teenager and more stresss on uni. im celebrating by going up to tahoe with a big group of people it should be entertaining! anyway i dont have too many thoughts to share right now maybe when i get home ill "blog" again.

THURSDAY

today. the weather was shit. misty and nasty. cold, misty, damp and cold. 

i woke up late, didn't go to dance. i was worried about going to dance anyway cause allan would've been back from the inauguration (allan is the boy that looks a lot like william hung and dances badly in my jazz class & he talks to me. only me) last thursday he was behind me in warm up and mr.lucas makes us do these exercises where we have to move our butts in circles... well yeah, i felt violated. hmm anyway, went to the gym today ran a mile on 5.0 speed and did some free weights, then i treated endow to pizza because he got "permed" (earlier on today he called me and whispered "i got permed i got permed" about a million times.. he sort of sounded like a dying zombie. got home and sat on my bed its a good feeling. also ive been thinking about D, i dont know why i do, but i do. its stupid i only like the sneaking around, the glances, the "accidental brushing", the smiles and the breakfast. alright thats all i have to say

ps. pams notebook that i want the hp mini looks like a billion googley eyes, she thought they looked like clouds

k